Monday, August 30, 2010

{daily delaney}

For each of my kid's births, i prepared a "labor" cd.
mind you, i didn't {stay} in labor long for any of them, however, my doc's are fantastic and let me bring music into the O.R. to listen to.
on Remi's labor cd, i have two songs by " The Unlikelies".
if you don't know their music, {you should}.
anywho, i like to listen to the cd before the baby is born and one day the girls and i were listening to it in the car.
delaney {loves} to sing, and she picks up on lyrics quickly.
{ahem} like a certian song by olivia newton john that has to do with....ummm, we'll say
anyway, back to The Unlikelies.
we were listening to a song called, "Almighty".
the lyrics say,
"Almighty, the world will see you are the one. Almighty, the one who is and is to come."

{however} delaney was singing it as,
"Alrighty, the world will see you are the one. Alrighty, the one who is and is to come."
and i corrected her, that she needed to sing {Almighty} and not {Alrighty}.
i explained that God was Almighty and what that meant.
she thought for a moment, and said,
"well, i think God is Alrighty."

i agree.
He is indeed Almighty {and} Alrighty.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

{Remington David Egger} *long read*

so God is good.
and we have a {son}.
and i'm blown away at how {present} and real God was through the whole thing.
silly me, sometimes i can {forget} that God is in and overall all things.
i can sometimes think that {i'm} in control.
i'm not.

i know it's {SO} the blog trend to blog your {birth story} right now.
i'm not really into that, and i didn't do it with the girls.
but this needs to be heard.

Remington is our 3 baby. our first boy. and my hardest pregnancy.
i was so {sick} from the very beginning.
and i was still throwing up the day i went into labor.
that's just a side note, though.

so anyway.
about 3ish weeks before i went into labor, i started feeling funky.
i couldn't pinpoint why. or what.
i felt silly calling the dr. to say, "hey, i feel funny, can i come in to be checked out?"
so i called my dear friend, kayt and asked her. was it silly of me?
immediately she encouraged me to go ahead and call, she didn't think it was silly at all.
and she hesitated, but also shared with me something significant.
she has been feeling an intense urging from the Lord to pray.
these are her words,

"Basically about a month ago the Lord spoke to me to pray for my friend's pregnancy. As mentioned in a previous blog I have lots of close friends having babies right now so I just kinda shluffed it off as a good reminder to pray for all of them. But no. God made it clear that he wanted
me praying specifically for this friend- the baby, the pregnancy, and the delivery."

at first she didn't want to share this with me. she didn't want me to worry.
please remember this specific part of the story, as it is {significant} later on.
so anyway, i went to the dr. and they found nothing wrong with me
we monitored the baby and his heart rate and movements looked good.
so i went home wondering, why i still felt {off}.

schooch on forward about 3ish weeks to last sunday at {9:30pm}.
i started having contractions about 3-4mins apart. i wasn't sure if they were real, because with
delaney and amelia my water broke and so i knew i was in labor.
so i waited and just timed them.
they consistently came for 3-4mins for 4 hours before i called the dr. at about 2am.
well, dr. said to head on in to the hospital and we'd check things out.
got hooked up to monitors and checked.
definitely having real contractions. i was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and stationed +1.
the dr. decided that since i wasn't quite 37 weeks, he wanted to try and stop the labor.
so they gave me a shot of {Terbutaline} a drug that generally stops contractions.
well, instead of stopping, my intensified.
so finally, the dr. got out of {bed}, seriously, they told me he was sleeping.
and he checked me.
i had in a matter of 20ish mins. progressed to 2cm, 80% effaced, and +2 station.
doc said, well looks like we're having a baby this morning!
via c-section.
we're gonna have a baby!
so they got things rolling. catheter, iv (after 3 tries), antibiotics injected and anti nausea drugs.
answered all the {annoying} admittance questions.
and then, my labor stopped.
didn't taper off. {stopped}.
and i started to cry.
how disappointing! casey's parents were already on their way from 2hrs away.
my parents were on their way.
my brother in law was watching the girls.
and darn it, {i wanted to have a baby!}.
the dr. said he wanted to back off. he really wanted the baby to have more time in the womb to mature. he said he might have breathing problems, or problems nursing.
he also said, it was likely i might be back later that day. or in a couple of days.
and folks, i did not want to have to have {another} catheter. they hurt. just being real here.
the or was prepped and waiting for me.
so the dr. decided to leave it up to me.
i had about 8 people staring at me, waiting for me to make a decision.
do i make the {unselfish} choice and say, ok. let's call the whole thing off. give the baby more time to grow.
or do i make the {selfish} choice and say, no, i want to have a baby today.
i don't want to go through all of this admittance stuff again.

i started to bawl. i'm not sure it was even really audible, but i said, i want to have the baby.
i don't want to wait.
thankfully my dr. was totally on board!
he basically clapped his hands, and said {OK!} let's have a baby!
i was thankful for his enthusiasm and support.

so we headed into the O.R.
i'll spare you the details, but it wasn't easy.
basically, they couldn't get me completely numb and the anesthesiologist was {dumping} morphine into my iv.
at one point i was in so much pain, i had to focus on the worship music i had playing and just try to tune out.

{finally} i felt this intense relief of pressure and heard two incredibly loud cries come from the other side of the curtain.
and then the cries stopped.
he wasn't breathing and was turning purple.
they sounded an alarm and about 10 people rushed into the O.R. at once. (anyone who is available comes, only a couple of those people needed to stay).
but is was still {freaking} me out.
and i began to cry, thinking i made the {WRONG} very selfish choice to deliver early, and now they were having to help Remington breath.
they brought him over to me for just a brief moment and then
took him to the NICU to get more breathing help.
thankfully my mother in law stayed with me and was a
{huge} comfort when casey and the baby left.

they finished cleaning me out and stitching me up and rolled me into the recovery room.
i was {SO} doped up from all the morphine, that i don't remember much of
anything from the whole rest of the day. which might be God's kindness
that i wasn't totally aware enough to really freak out about how sick my son was.

once they had him in the NICU they discovered he had an infection, had really low blood pressure, still wasn't breathing well on his own.
he was severely anemic and needed a blood transfusion.
so they opened up his belly button, and put a central line from an artery to his heart, and one to his stomach.
they administered his blood transfusion through this, and gave him iv fluids.
based on his red blood cell count, the dr. was able to determine that the
infection had started roughly
{3ish weeks ago}.
right around the time that i started feeling funky, and that Kayt was urged to pray for my baby, my pregnancy, and deliver.
{AND} that had the baby stayed in longer, he would have continued to get {sicker} and {sicker}.
do you understand the significance in those to revelations?
before he was born, before we knew anything was wrong, God was prompting
someone to pray with intention for my baby.
and even though at the time i felt like i had made a {selfish} decision to go ahead and deliver the baby early, God was over that as well. had i decided to do what i though was the {unselfish} choice, Remington would have been born even {more} critically ill.
i didn't get to see him for {hours} and i didn't get to hold him for {days}.
probably some of the longest hours and days of my life.

Remington was in the NICU hooked up to all the crazy monitors and all i wanted to do was pick him up and smell his newborn smell. we couldn't hardly touch him, because the stimulation messed with his blood pressure.
but God was there.
we prayed that he would come off his oxygen, as this was the first step to getting better.
he was born on monday morning. he came off his CPAP (heavey duty oxygen) on tuesday and just used his nebulizer for oxygen. we prayed that he would be off that by the next day, and on wednesday he was breathing totally on his own.
because of the infection, he developed a high fever, but stabilized within 24hrs.
he came off his blood pressure meds on tuesday, but had to go back on, however for
only 24more hours.
i know there was a {crazy} amount of people praying for him.
his cultures from his infection came back and looked so good, they didn't
even bother to give him his 3rd round of antibiotics.
{finally} on wednesday, they were able to take the central line from his artery to his heart out.
and i got to {hold him} for the first time.
and smell his newborn {smell}.
on thursday, he had to go under photo therapy lights for jaundice, but his numbers started to go down before the first 24 hours were even up.
on friday, they took out his other central line.

and i had to {leave} him.

there is no preparing for having to leave your child behind.
casey was {amazing}. his support and compassion for my broken heart was incredible.
God is {amazing}. and God is {comforting}.
when i was up in the nights pumping, i just though about how he was awake taking his feeding right then. and that made me smile.
after only two nights away from my baby, Remi came home on Sunday.
i had a few, ok, a lot of moments of {distress} through the whole thing.
but in it all, i felt {peace} and {comfort} and {knowledge} that for as much as i loved and was concerned about Remi, God was more.
and God was in control.
and God knows his days.
we prayed that he would come home by monday.
he came {home} on {sunday}.
it's been tiring. doing a 3 step feeding program with him.
but i'll do it to have him home with me.
he is doing really well. he didn't have to come home on a bili blanket.
he is nursing well.
his sisters adore him.
i'm totally in love.
with both Remington and God.

God was in it and over it all.
God was in it prompting Kayt to pray.
God was in my decision to deliver, instead of holding off, because the longer he stayed in the womb, the sicker he was becoming.

God was in the quick answer of each of our prayers while he was in the hospital.
God is in it now, having him home. gaining weight. nursing well.

friends, please, don't doubt how big God is in your life.
in every life.
born and unborn.

Remington means {devoted}
David {for the man after God's heart}

we are praying that our little boy will be a
{devoted} man after {God's heart}.

and we are thankful for your prayers over his life.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

{daily delaney}

just a quick daily {delaney}.
we like to tell our daughters that they are {princesses}.
not in the fairy tale kind of way, but really and truly, they are {REAL} princesses.
they are daughters of {the} King.
one day, at the dinner table, casey told delaney she was {indeed} a princess.
she responded with:
"actually, daddy, i'm really just a turd."
hmmmm. i {swear} i've never called her that before in her life.
never ever.

Introducing, {Princess Turd}

Sunday, August 8, 2010

{daily delaney}

so basically, my nearly 4 year old daughter {delaney} is a comedic genius.
and sometimes just has crazy cool {thoughts}.
i thought i'd attempt to share them here as they roll off her tongue.
i'll sure be trying for consistency in posting.

here's one from yesterday:
delaney: "hey mom. let's play pretend."
me: "ok, what do you want to play?"
delaney: "let's play, you be the mommy and i'll be the kid."

yeah....really stretching your imagination there, kiddo.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

{my itty bitty}

finally, installment #3. amelia.

now this girl. she is one of a kind.
she will be 2 years old this month.
she is one of the biggest {turds} i've ever met. we call her a {turdler} instead of a toddler.
she also has me so tightly wrapped around her little finger it's starting to turn purple.
i cannot get enough of her, and and sometimes i cannot wait to get a break from her.
she is cuddly. she is not very brave. she has a mullet. she always pulls her pig tails out.
{i guess she's proud of her mullet}.
she is starting to pray on her own, and as w/ delaney, this delights my heart to hear her sweet little voice say Jesus name.
she is a:
she loves babies
she hates meat
she loves broccoli
she can put her own shoes on
she talks all the time
she is obsessed with airplanes
she likes to be read to
and so much {more}.

just get a load of this cuteness:

she likes to paint, and color, and make messes

she likes being in long as she doesn't get splashed.

she has blond hair. and looks just like her daddy.

we very {lovingly} refer to her as, "crazy aunt millie"

i love this girl. love her.

{my little cricket}

here is installment #2. all about {delaney}.
let me just tell you, i {adore} this girl. she is on of my best friends. seriously.
delaney is:
sensitive to others
a mini photographer
a builder upper to those around her
a comedian
and so much {more}.

she will be 4years old in october.
she is {thrilled} about having a baby brother, and obsessed with the fact that the dr. is going to {cut} him out of me. she informed casey one day, that after the dr. cut him out, she was going to hold remington. and when she was finished, he could have a turn.
she is already a great big sister to amelia {who can be a challenging little sister}.
she loves her cousins.
she especially adores an 18year old guy named, michael.
she has a heart to pray.
and her prayers are some of the most {tender} and {genuine} i've ever heard spoken. faith like a child people, there's really something there.

she loves taking photographs.
i love letting her.
here is some of her brilliant work:

and here are some fun updated photos of my little {cricket}:

she is learning to
write her
i'm seriously impressed with the neatness of her handwriting.
she was very proud of herself this day.
her only struggle, is that she want's to put about a {million} extra lines in her letter E.
can i blame her? it does make the E extra fun.

she likes all things water. sprinklers, the pool in the back yard, the big pool where she likes to dive in and swim
she really likes to fish. she and her daddy practice {casting} in the back yard.

she's not afraid of worms. in fact, she thinks they are pretty great.
and i think {she} is pretty great.

{my man and i}

this is installment #1 of {hello, i never post to this blog, let's change that now}
this one will be about my man and i.
i like him. a lot. i sort of {crush} on him.
he's so handsome, can you blame me?!? really.

any who.
we found out in december that he knocked me up.
and then in may, we found out we were having a {boy}.
i'm pretty certain that casey is still high 5ing people about that one.
he is still running his business Fine Edge Paintless Dent Repair, and God is still blessing our socks off in regards to that business. my man is a {hard} worker with a ton of {integrity} in his work, and this just keeps dealerships calling him back. i'm so proud of him and the way he {supports} our family.
we are looking forward to celebrating our {7th} wedding anniversary this month.
i'm still in awe over the fact that of {all} the women on this earth the {chose} me to be his wife. crazy cool.

i've been taking a breather from my business, Rag-a-Muffin Totes. i got totally burnt out on sewing after christmas time. don't get me wrong, i had a TON of business and that made for our being able to bless with christmas gifts huge. i just really needed a break after all that sewing.
also, because we found out i was preggers, i decided i needed to change up my business a bit. i am no longer offering {custom} made bags. someday, i will just have stock built up and posted for sale on the website and peeps will have to purchase totes as is. i hope you all still like what i come up with!

in the meantime, i've just been enjoying life with my 2 {sweet} daughters.
enjoying air conditioning.
enjoying feeling my little man kick the {crap} out of my insides.
and i'm looking forward to getting to meet mr. remington sometime in the upcoming weeks.

Per Request of the Lovely Amber Van

My {sweet} friend, Amber, pointed out to me today that i have not updated this blog in a LLLOOOONNNNGGGG time (aside from my book review the other day.

So i'm gonna create a few new blogs this afternoon, while i still have time before the
{love of my life #4}
enters this world and i no longer function as a normal human being.

hope you enjoy.

here's a teaser pic.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Resurrection in May

A few months back, my friend Sela tuned me on to BookSneeze . It's a website that gives you free books to read, so long as you submit a 200 word review on your personal blog and on a consumer review site. I couldn't pass that up. So below is my first review.

Resurrection in May by Lisa Samson is the story of a girl called May. Along May’s journey to learn that there is much more to life, she meets and develops relationships with numerous people, though not evident at the time, strategically placed by God.
In part one of the book, May meets a gentle old farmer named Claudius who helps May to learn that life moves on despite the past. May needs time to heal and learn to believe that God is present in all circumstances and Claudius is willing to offer her that time. Part one, in my opinion, reads slowly and simply; very much a reflection of life on Claudius farm.
In part two of the book, after nearly a decade on the farm, May begins to move forward in life with a little help from Eli, a murder on death row. They share numerous conversations about what it means to forgive and to seek forgiveness. The irony is not lost on the reader that an attempted murder victim and a murder are developing a life changing relationship and understanding of who God is and when He is present.
The book was overall a good read and recommendable.