{Remington David Egger} *long read*

so God is good.

and we have a {son}.

and i'm blown away at how {present} and real God was through the whole thing.

silly me, sometimes i can {forget} that God is in and overall all things.

i can sometimes think that {i'm} in control.

i'm not.

i know it's {SO} the blog trend to blog your {birth story} right now.

i'm not really into that, and i didn't do it with the girls.

but this needs to be heard.

Remington is our 3 baby. our first boy. and my hardest pregnancy.

i was so {sick} from the very beginning.

and i was still throwing up the day i went into labor.

that's just a side note, though.

so anyway.

about 3ish weeks before i went into labor, i started feeling funky.

i couldn't pinpoint why. or what.

i felt silly calling the dr. to say, "hey, i feel funny, can i come in to be checked out?"

so i called my dear friend, kayt and asked her. was it silly of me?

immediately she encouraged me to go ahead and call, she didn't think it was silly at all.

and she hesitated, but also shared with me something significant.

she has been feeling an intense urging from the Lord to pray.

these are her words,

"Basically about a month ago the Lord spoke to me to pray for my friend's pregnancy. As mentioned in a previous blog I have lots of close friends having babies right now so I just kinda shluffed it off as a good reminder to pray for all of them. But no. God made it clear that he wanted

me praying specifically for this friend- the baby, the pregnancy, and the delivery."

you can go here to read more of her side of the story.

at first she didn't want to share this with me. she didn't want me to worry.

please remember this specific part of the story, as it is {significant} later on.

so anyway, i went to the dr. and they found nothing wrong with me

we monitored the baby and his heart rate and movements looked good.

so i went home wondering, why i still felt {off}.

schooch on forward about 3ish weeks to last sunday at {9:30pm}.

i started having contractions about 3-4mins apart. i wasn't sure if they were real, because with

delaney and amelia my water broke and so i knew i was in labor.

so i waited and just timed them.

they consistently came for 3-4mins for 4 hours before i called the dr. at about 2am.

well, dr. said to head on in to the hospital and we'd check things out.

got hooked up to monitors and checked.

definitely having real contractions. i was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and stationed +1.

the dr. decided that since i wasn't quite 37 weeks, he wanted to try and stop the labor.

so they gave me a shot of {Terbutaline} a drug that generally stops contractions.

well, instead of stopping, my intensified.

so finally, the dr. got out of {bed}, seriously, they told me he was sleeping.

and he checked me.

i had in a matter of 20ish mins. progressed to 2cm, 80% effaced, and +2 station.

doc said, well looks like we're having a baby this morning!

via c-section.

{OK!}

we're gonna have a baby!

so they got things rolling. catheter, iv (after 3 tries), antibiotics injected and anti nausea drugs.

answered all the {annoying} admittance questions.

and then, my labor stopped.

didn't taper off. {stopped}.

and i started to cry.

how disappointing! casey's parents were already on their way from 2hrs away.

my parents were on their way.

my brother in law was watching the girls.

and darn it, {i wanted to have a baby!}.

the dr. said he wanted to back off. he really wanted the baby to have more time in the womb to mature. he said he might have breathing problems, or problems nursing.

he also said, it was likely i might be back later that day. or in a couple of days.

and folks, i did not want to have to have {another} catheter. they hurt. just being real here.

the or was prepped and waiting for me.

so the dr. decided to leave it up to me.

i had about 8 people staring at me, waiting for me to make a decision.

do i make the {unselfish} choice and say, ok. let's call the whole thing off. give the baby more time to grow.

or do i make the {selfish} choice and say, no, i want to have a baby today.

i don't want to go through all of this admittance stuff again.

i started to bawl. i'm not sure it was even really audible, but i said, i want to have the baby.

i don't want to wait.

thankfully my dr. was totally on board!

he basically clapped his hands, and said {OK!} let's have a baby!

i was thankful for his enthusiasm and support.

so we headed into the O.R.

i'll spare you the details, but it wasn't easy.

basically, they couldn't get me completely numb and the anesthesiologist was {dumping} morphine into my iv.

at one point i was in so much pain, i had to focus on the worship music i had playing and just try to tune out.

{finally} i felt this intense relief of pressure and heard two incredibly loud cries come from the other side of the curtain.

and then the cries stopped.

he wasn't breathing and was turning purple.

they sounded an alarm and about 10 people rushed into the O.R. at once. (anyone who is available comes, only a couple of those people needed to stay).

but is was still {freaking} me out.

and i began to cry, thinking i made the {WRONG} very selfish choice to deliver early, and now they were having to help Remington breath.

they brought him over to me for just a brief moment and then

took him to the NICU to get more breathing help.

thankfully my mother in law stayed with me and was a

{huge} comfort when casey and the baby left.

they finished cleaning me out and stitching me up and rolled me into the recovery room.

i was {SO} doped up from all the morphine, that i don't remember much of

anything from the whole rest of the day. which might be God's kindness

that i wasn't totally aware enough to really freak out about how sick my son was.

once they had him in the NICU they discovered he had an infection, had really low blood pressure, still wasn't breathing well on his own.

he was severely anemic and needed a blood transfusion.

so they opened up his belly button, and put a central line from an artery to his heart, and one to his stomach.

they administered his blood transfusion through this, and gave him iv fluids.

based on his red blood cell count, the dr. was able to determine that the

infection had started roughly

{3ish weeks ago}.

right around the time that i started feeling funky, and that Kayt was urged to pray for my baby, my pregnancy, and deliver.

{AND} that had the baby stayed in longer, he would have continued to get {sicker} and {sicker}.

do you understand the significance in those to revelations?

before he was born, before we knew anything was wrong, God was prompting

someone to pray with intention for my baby.

and even though at the time i felt like i had made a {selfish} decision to go ahead and deliver the baby early, God was over that as well. had i decided to do what i though was the {unselfish} choice, Remington would have been born even {more} critically ill.

i didn't get to see him for {hours} and i didn't get to hold him for {days}.

probably some of the longest hours and days of my life.

Remington was in the NICU hooked up to all the crazy monitors and all i wanted to do was pick him up and smell his newborn smell. we couldn't hardly touch him, because the stimulation messed with his blood pressure.

but God was there.

we prayed that he would come off his oxygen, as this was the first step to getting better.

he was born on monday morning. he came off his CPAP (heavey duty oxygen) on tuesday and just used his nebulizer for oxygen. we prayed that he would be off that by the next day, and on wednesday he was breathing totally on his own.

because of the infection, he developed a high fever, but stabilized within 24hrs.

he came off his blood pressure meds on tuesday, but had to go back on, however for

only 24more hours.

i know there was a {crazy} amount of people praying for him.

his cultures from his infection came back and looked so good, they didn't

even bother to give him his 3rd round of antibiotics.

{finally} on wednesday, they were able to take the central line from his artery to his heart out.

and i got to {hold him} for the first time.

and smell his newborn {smell}.

on thursday, he had to go under photo therapy lights for jaundice, but his numbers started to go down before the first 24 hours were even up.

on friday, they took out his other central line.

and i had to {leave} him.

there is no preparing for having to leave your child behind.

casey was {amazing}. his support and compassion for my broken heart was incredible.

God is {amazing}. and God is {comforting}.

when i was up in the nights pumping, i just though about how he was awake taking his feeding right then. and that made me smile.

after only two nights away from my baby, Remi came home on Sunday.

i had a few, ok, a lot of moments of {distress} through the whole thing.

but in it all, i felt {peace} and {comfort} and {knowledge} that for as much as i loved and was concerned about Remi, God was more.

and God was in control.

and God knows his days.

we prayed that he would come home by monday.

he came {home} on {sunday}.

it's been tiring. doing a 3 step feeding program with him.

but i'll do it to have him home with me.

he is doing really well. he didn't have to come home on a bili blanket.

he is nursing well.

his sisters adore him.

i'm totally in love.

with both Remington and God.

God was in it and over it all.

God was in it prompting Kayt to pray.

God was in my decision to deliver, instead of holding off, because the longer he stayed in the womb, the sicker he was becoming.

God was in the quick answer of each of our prayers while he was in the hospital.

God is in it now, having him home. gaining weight. nursing well.

friends, please, don't doubt how big God is in your life.

in every life.

born and unborn.

Remington means {devoted}

David {for the man after God's heart}

we are praying that our little boy will be a

{devoted} man after {God's heart}.

and we are thankful for your prayers over his life.