Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Great Princess Debate

At times, this debate can seem to fire up mom's of daughters faster and fiercer than the current presidential election. And don't think for a moment that I am exaggerating here people.

Until I became a mom of daughters who adored princesses (Disney or not) I never really gave much thought to how I felt about my daughters like or dislike of them.

I have heard several comments via that great ol website called Facebook about the great disdain over princesses. They are boycotting them, thankyouverymuch. That they don't want their daughters to have anything to do with those flighty, men dependant, happily ever after hussies.

But do you know what? I let Delaney and Amelia watch the princess movies. We borrow books from the library about every possible princess story. They have several princess dolls ranging from Snow White to Merida and nearly every princess in between. I even let them dress up like Merida from Brave and Aurora from Sleeping Beauty for Halloween this year. My daughter's adore those princesses.

Do you know why? Because they see them and believe they are lovely and they want to be lovely too. They want to meet prince charming. They ask me to turn on classical music while they waltz with each other and their little brother. They line up their stuffed animals and pretend they are their woodland friends. They think their dresses are pretty and they have a whole suitcase full of flowy dress up dresses. They love the different princesses hair and they pretend that their's is as long as Rapunzel.

I am quite certain that these very things are reason's for the disdain many mom's feel about "those princesses". Judge me if you want, but I am perfectly happy with my daughters feeling beautiful as they pretend to be princesses. I am perfectly happy with my daughter's being friendly to their woodland stuffed animals, because beauty comes from kindness. I honestly don't understand where the hatred and appalled opinions of them come from. Is it because they are thin, dress nice and have pretty faces? Because I know many real life women who are those very things and I respect and admire them! The princesses are brave, gentle, caring, genuine, friendly, they over come evil and perils of various kinds. Do I want daughters who are brave, gentle, caring, genuine, friendly and daughters who overcome evil and perils of every kind? You bet I do.

Am I worried that Delaney and Amelia will try to define themselves by how pretty they are, and how desirable they are, how valuable they are based on watching princess movies? No. Not for a second. Because my daughter's are beautiful and they know that their beauty is not defined by their clothes or their outward appearance or by winning the heart of a prince charming.

In fact, my daughter's are real life princesses (and not just in the hearts of their daddy and i). They are the daughters of the One True King. We tell them daily that they are princesses. Ever notice how in many of the movies the princess has been stolen from the king? What does the king do? He searches for his lost princess, he yearns for her to be back in his kingdom. Well, the King of my princesses does the same thing. And I tell them that. "Do you know that Jesus, your King, He wants you back in His Kingdom. He will search you out, daughters, He yearns for you to be with him."

I am ok with my Cricket and my Bitty girl playing with and pretending to be princesses. If my daughters grow into shallow, self indulgent, men dependant women, it most certainly won't be the Disney movies to blame. It will be Casey and I who are to blame. It is up to us to teach them how to beautiful and valuable princesses.

And in the mean time, while they are still little enough to enjoy the fairy tails and have the blinders on to the wretchedness of this world, I am going to let them be little girls who want to live happily ever after. And I am going to be sure they know where that happily ever after is, with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.


  1. I love you and your princesses! Don't forget you are a beautiful princess too, and the one they will ultimately be most like :) Miss ya!

  2. Wow, I had no idea this was a hot button ticket when I left a comment re: princesses on your FB post! (Being new to the mom game, I'm still learning what the various controversies are.) I apologize if my words implied judgment. I have issues with princesses because I personally have baggage and issues that the princess world exacerbates, but I don't judge others who embrace princesses; I envy them.

    1. Oh amber! This was not directed toward you at all! Your comment made me laugh about letting your daughter be a red headed Scottish princess. Promise. It was just one more comment along the line that I have heaed/read over the years of having daughters. I just wanted to remind other mom's out there that it isn't or shouldn't be princess characters that define their daughters value.
      I love you friend, and I understand where you are coming from. We don't allow barbies(and their minimal clothing and giant boobs) for our daughters for a similar reason as you and your princess issue.

  3. Thanks, Robin! I didn't figure you were writing about my comment in particular, but wanted to say it in case mine had come off as judgmental! It's a very interesting topic, and I think one has to find (and somehow teach to their daughters) the very delicate balance between rejoicing in the beauty God gave us/the God-given desire to be beautiful to our lover vs. finding our esteem (or lack thereof) in our looks!

  4. Beautifully Written Robin Children teach your parents

  5. Thank you for writing it all out, my friend. I haven't really had to deal with this yet because of K's personality, but we're just starting into it. I also have to think about how Kahlen and I handle the princess situation in relation to her little brothers. Nate already notices more than I think he should at 3! I truly appreciate your thoughts about making sure they understand that they really ARE princesses. And if I enjoy grown-up "princess" stories (like Twilight or just about any "chick flick"), then why would my daughter not enjoy the same thing?